Wiggly Wigglers Employment Application


Dscn21521 Dear Messrs Wiggly & Co

After a delightful visit to your bucolic farm in Hereford, I have come to realize that I am entirely deserving of a simple and bountiful life in the English countryside, and I present herewith my application for the job.  I possess a number of useful skills and qualifications, including but not limited to:

  • Worm Tamer
  • Air Traffic Controller for Honeybees, Butterflies, and Lady Beetles
  • Teacher of Clever Tricks to Chickens
  • Mixing Very Cold, Dry Martinis (with Strong Coffee to Follow in the Morning)
  • Flower Appreciation and Admiration
  • Consumption of Vast Quantities of Local Cheeses and Ciders, with Enlightening Comments on Each
  • Chooser of Obscure Literary Names for Cows, Pigs, Goats, Chickens, and Sheep
  • Debator on Either Side of Issues of Importance to Rural Life, so as to allow for more Evenly Matched Disagreements over Hedgerows, Hedgehogs, Etc.
  • Hatcher of Half-Baked Schemes, Idle Dreams, Far-Fetched Notions, Flights of Fancy, and Gradiose Ideas
  • Hanger-On, Groupie, and Lender of Unique American Perspective on the Rural English Life.Dscn2164

I hope that you will consider my application with the same sincerity with which it was written.  I remain–

Yours with Dirty Fingernails,


P.S.  Check out the lively Wiggly Wigglers/Garden Rant discussion about the value of garden blogs on their podcast # 47.  (You’ll need iTunes or something similar to hear it.)  You’ll be hearing more about these fine folks from me soon.


  1. I am by no means a web designer, but I found the home page a bit confusing. It really doesn’t let you know what the focus of the business is without having to search for it. Their blog however sums it up. “Wiggly Wigglers is a small mail order business based on Lower Blakemere Farm, providing products and ideas to encourage gardening for wildlife. This blog is life inside Wiggly Wigglers – the business, the wildlife garden, and the farm.” If they put that on top of the home web page it would help. People have their hand on the mouse and are quick to click if they don’t know what they are looking at NOW.

    They seem to be doing just fine, and perhaps the folks in the U.K. like those kinds of home pages. Just an observation and I look forward to hearing more about these people and their business. It is an interesting business model, kind of a one stop gardening/wildlife/lifestyle center.

  2. I didn’t see any problems with the Wiggly Wigglers site — there’s a banner right across the top that says Home Contact Shop etc. and the very first paragraph of text says “… all our actions affect the world around us. Take your garden for instance… that pristine flowerbed might give you a stunning display for a few weeks each year, but it isn’t doing anything for local wildlife or the environment in general. ”

    Wiggly Wigglers is telling you right away that their emphasis is on wildlife gardens. That is a far cry from a strictly commercial grower’s site like White Flower Farm or Wayside Gardens (which is so busy busy busy it’s like spending a half-hour in Wal-Mart with the PA system blaring away).

    Not to nitpick, Trey, because I think the Golden Gecko commerce site is fine, but to be fair, I see no mission statement on the home page. As with most commercial sites, it’s all information bites and links, and you have to visit the About page to get background info.

    The conventional wisdom in Web design is to make the home page generic and let users choose where they want to go. Wiggly Wigglers’ home page is more like a blog home.

    Maybe unconventional, but compared to some small growers’ sites it’s pretty good.

  3. Dear Ms Stewart
    Having duly considered your application for employment at Wiggly Wigglers and discussed this with my fellow team members I am delighted to inform you that you have been successful with your application.
    Obviously, due to the fact that the commuting time between North California and Blakemere in Herefordshire is a good 16 hours – I think it best if you work remotely.
    Your remuneration can be negotiated, but as for the personal hygeine issue please do ensure that your fingernails have the minimum dirt under them when trying to promote particularly clean items such as our book.
    If I might say so Ms Stewart, you displayed tremendous enthusiasm for your subject at the interview and enlightened us all on your knowledge of all things natural, including worms and flowers. I have taken the opportunity of reading your new book Flower Confidential and it is full of interesting facts and is an entertaining read. A+ (!)
    Yours sincerely
    Heather Gorringe MD of Wiggly Wigglers
    plus Toast the Dog
    and Lilian and Valerie – the Chickens

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