Dear Messrs Wiggly & Co—
After a delightful visit to your bucolic farm in Hereford, I have come to realize that I am entirely deserving of a simple and bountiful life in the English countryside, and I present herewith my application for the job. I possess a number of useful skills and qualifications, including but not limited to:
- Worm Tamer
- Air Traffic Controller for Honeybees, Butterflies, and Lady Beetles
- Teacher of Clever Tricks to Chickens
- Mixing Very Cold, Dry Martinis (with Strong Coffee to Follow in the Morning)
- Flower Appreciation and Admiration
- Consumption of Vast Quantities of Local Cheeses and Ciders, with Enlightening Comments on Each
- Chooser of Obscure Literary Names for Cows, Pigs, Goats, Chickens, and Sheep
- Debator on Either Side of Issues of Importance to Rural Life, so as to allow for more Evenly Matched Disagreements over Hedgerows, Hedgehogs, Etc.
- Hatcher of Half-Baked Schemes, Idle Dreams, Far-Fetched Notions, Flights of Fancy, and Gradiose Ideas
- Hanger-On, Groupie, and Lender of Unique American Perspective on the Rural English Life.
I hope that you will consider my application with the same sincerity with which it was written. I remain–
Yours with Dirty Fingernails,
P.S. Check out the lively Wiggly Wigglers/Garden Rant discussion about the value of garden blogs on their podcast # 47. (You’ll need iTunes or something similar to hear it.) You’ll be hearing more about these fine folks from me soon.