… tend to come up with ideas like the following:
When planning your outdoor projects for spring, keep this tip in mind from Do It Yourself magazine, a Better Homes and Gardens publication: To create visual impact in your garden, coordinate garden decor and bloom colors.
For example, Adirondack chairs painted periwinkle echo the blue of hydrangea bushes.
Similarly, hot hues work off each other in a garden planted with hot pink shrubs with a red bistro table stationed nearby.
I would call this the silly season of garden journalism, at least in regions that have cold winters. The only gardening most of us are doing is taking place via mail order and within fantasies. But garden columns and articles in the print media (as well as in blogs!) must soldier on. Hence, ridiculous advice such as the above.
Here’s what I think about painting wooden furniture to match flower colors: a.) it can’t be done, and b.) gardening is not and should not be about the furniture.
Many of the gardening “tip” columns in the print media are repetitive, unimaginative outrages against the trees killed to disseminate them, but this is especially true during the off-season. Here are a few pearls that have appeared in home and garden sections during January:
Is there space for the barbecue and is it convenient, can the trash bins be hidden from view? I want the 20 seconds it took me to read this bit of comma-splicing back.
Store garden chemicals away from children and pets in a safe, dry place, such as a garden shed or garage. Keep products in their original containers. I’m puzzled by the second piece of advice here. People are out there with funnels decanting Orthene and Round-up into pottery carafes?
Hand pruners and loppers work best when sharp. No. Shit.
There are a huge range of garden ornaments available, whatever your style. Unfortunately, this is very true.
Best to stick with books at this time of year—or share tips with other savvy bloggers like us.
What’s the most useless piece of garden advice you’ve ever received?