BBC garden expert Alan Titchmarsh devotes nearly four hours (yes, I said four hours!) to the question of HOW to be a gardener–now what to do, but how to do it. He starts by telling you to get out of the garden center and GO HOME. Next up, sex. Shameless sexual activity, in fact. Watch it in your cube or call in sick. Just don’t get any work done today. It is a federal holiday, isn’t it?