If you leave Iris to go talk to Gus, she’ll wait for you. No matter
how many times you go away, she’ll always greet you when you return
with: "Well hello! It’s nice to see you again! Did you know that the
word Iris means rainbow in Greek? Isn’t that interesting? So. Did you
have something you wanted to ask me?"
Uh…sure, Iris. What can you tell me about…uh…trees and shrubs?
"I love trees. They give so much to us and ask so little in return. They’re like Gus that way."
Hmmm. Well, that Gus does seem like a nice guy. So, Iris, what about flowers?
"I find it’s best to plant flowers on a cool or cloudy day…The early morning is the most peaceful time to do it."
Mostly I just sat and watched Iris standing alone at the edge of her
flower bed, looking down at the trowel in her hands (ash wood handle,
$2.98) and back up at me, waiting for me to ‘ask’ another question.
She looked lonely, a sad, isolated little animated character dropped into a
sterile suburban backyard and given an inadequate three-dollar tool
with which to plant her insipid little garden.
Is this Lowe’s vision for us? Exactly who do they think their customer
is? What kind of person would actually enjoy this, would actually
voluntarily visit this site and listen to Gus or Iris offer to answer
their ‘questions’? Why is it that even in an animated fantasy world, Iris’ garden is such a miserly little un-garden-like thing?
I’m not buying it. Or watching it. Neither should you. In fact, I’m sorry I brought it up. Won’t happen again. Whatever you do, don’t go to Sunnyville.