Not that anyone’s asked, but…
If GardenRant had a TV show, what would it look like?
I was outside pulling weeds the other day, thinking of this very thing. Here’s what I’d do: It would be in the style of a late night talk show, with a host (one or more of us), guests who come sit on the couch and tell us witty horticultural stories, and performers like a musician who plays pan flutes made of carrots, a Beverly Nichols impersonator, and anyone with a chicken that does tricks.
We would of course invite celebrities, from horticultural rock stars like Tony Avent to actual stars (if Julia Roberts can talk composting with Oprah, surely Adrian Grenier or George Clooney can talk pollination with us), and we’d do man-on-the-street interviews about gardening topics. "What’s a perennial?" will no doubt elicit any number of wacky responses.
What else? Live coverage of garden shows, garden tours, and plant sales, sent in by a network of (well-compensated) citizen video bloggers. Live reviews of botanical gardens and garden centers. Regular segments on Plants We Hate in which those plants are eviscerated live on camera. Nonsensical John Hodgman-style lectures on plant science.
And of course, cocktails.
Hard to imagine why HGTV hasn’t called yet.