The horrible-garden-project winners!



Everyone should win. I’ve never read a more hilarious, pathetic, and, yes, inspiring group of gardening stories. Though I did have to pick winners, at least Fine Gardening is nice enough to award subscriptions to three runners up. Here they are and very brief excerpts from their stories (visit the post to read them in full):

Tai Haiku: The obelisk wouldn’t stand up, dad fell off the retaining wall and cracked a rib on his wheelbarrow and the water only bubbles lopsidedly down the side of the obelisk shielded from view.(Image at top.)


Kim: All I hear is “we have to tear down the wall and YOU have to rebuild it.” That’s not what he’s SAID, but it sure is what I’ve HEARD. And my mind just cannot handle what I know is true.(image of the wall above)

SuzQ: After consultation at a local water garden center, we built Pond V 2.0. Got a bigger vessel and dug a deeper hole. More pond liner. Still leaked. Worse: heavy rain deposited silt into the bottom of the vessel. Pump started acting funny so we only turned it on for guests

And here’s the grand prize winner, who will win a set of Fine Gardening specialty mags as well as a subscription:

Vera Patrick: Summer of 2008
Installing an enabling, prairie native garden at the front entrance of Kennedy Middle School, Rockford IL for the 6-8th grade low functioning students, half of which are wheelchaired. Raised beds, pully operated hanging baskets, shallow pan garden beds, raised pool and water wall, adapted tools,tactile bed, vertical wall garden, container court and plants for the senses.
The magazines would be housed in the school and year long magazine subsciption utilized by the special education teachers and non-degreed horticultural therapist. We do this for the children who can’t bend down to touch the ground, we bring it to them. Completion Fall 2008 pictures to follow 🙂

Thanks for playing, everyone.

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Elizabeth Licata

Elizabeth Licata has been a regular writer for  Garden Rant since 2007, after contributing a guest rant about the overuse of American flags in front gardens. She lives and gardens in Buffalo, N.Y., which, far from the frozen wasteland many assume it to be, is a lush paradise of gardens, historic architecture, galleries, museums, theaters, and fun. As editor of Buffalo Spree magazine,  Licata helps keep Western New Yorkers apprised about what is happening in their region. She is also a freelance writer and art curator, who’s been published in Fine Gardening, Horticulture, ArtNews, Art in America, the Village Voice, and many other publications. She does regularly radio segments for the local NPR affiliate, WBFO.

Licata is involved with Garden Walk Buffalo, the largest free garden tour in the US and possibly the world,and has written the text for a book about Garden Walk. She has also written and edited several art-related books. Contact Elizabeth: ealicata at


  1. Wow! Thanks so much. I never win anything, and it figures that when I finally do win, it would be for something horrible. 😉 Thanks again, and congratulations to all the winners.

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