Thanks to all of you who commented on Eric Grissell's guest rant about his new book, Bees, Wasps, and Ants. The lovely people at Timber have not only offered to give a book to the winner, they've also agreed to my challenge that they post of video of Timber staff reading the winning limerick. All right, editorial staff! All right, publicists! I'm waiting!
Meanwhile, here are some of our favorites from among the very fine entries we received. If you haven't had a chance to sit around and read these aloud–really. You owe it to yourselves. And anyone else within earshot.
There once was a bee named Hymenoptera,
Who wanted to stage his own orgy-a.
He soon got his wish,
But just with one swish,
She ripped off his little what-call-ya.
Son of immaculate conception
whose mother induces erection
but after they've mated
the boy is castrated
Beware the Wasp mom's affection!
There once was bee named McGuyver,
His love in the sky he did fly for.
She tore him apart,
he lost more than his heart,
but found sex with the queen was to die for!
There once was a wasp, an ant and a bee
Who conversed on their sexuality
While the bee and the ant
Went into a RANT
The wasp said, "I've done it to me!"
This one's from LisaB:
There was a Queen Bee named Kate
who decided it was time for a date
with lust in the air,
She hadn't a care,
but the same can't be said for her mate
And the winner, chosen by Eric? It comes from Anne:
There once was a bee from Niagara
Who stuffed himself full of Viagra
His queen sought his sperm
And then gripped him quite firm
And soared off with his wee candelabra
Now, who here thinks that the lyrical Timber people should have to perform ALL of these on a video? You know, as part of the Monday morning editorial meeting? Just go around the table! Or at a bar after work? You people do go to bars, don't you? Just be glad we're not asking you to wear bee suits. Although…..