If I wanted stuffed animals I would go to Toys ‘R’ Us

 

Or I would visit a small, locally-owned toy boutique. Regardless, I can assure you, I would not be looking for them at my local nursery.

Nonetheless, that’s what I found the other day, right where they always used to have the bamboo stakes. Little furry birds that make authentic noises. I asked a staffer where the stakes were and he looked at me in puzzlement. I asked another, and she looked at me in puzzlement. Finally, we unearthed an old-timer who knew where the bamboo and wire stakes were kept, way back in the corner behind the cocoa matting, sort of near where the pond supplies used to be.

It’s not just nurseries and garden centers.  Stock is moved, sent back, and replaced on a daily basis in almost every retail establishment I frequent. Entire departments are torn apart and relocated regularly. They even do it at the liquor store—what’s the point of that? The assumption is that all consumers have ADHD, unable to bear seeing the same merchandise in the same place longer than 36 hours.  I’m afraid to tell friends about a great shopping find, because I’m almost positive it won’t be there a day later.

 

 

So be it. But will there come a time when I have to mail order such boring garden necessities as stakes, ties, and cheap terra cotta, while resin fairies, wind chimes, and stones inscribed with profound messages can still be had at my local garden center? Look, I know that stores need to carry what sells. But when the basics are relegated to obscure corners, it’s only a matter of time before they disappear altogether. People may need them, but sometimes it takes good customer service to explain to customers exactly what they need and why.  Maybe a new generation of gardeners will assume that oriental lilies were just destined to lie on the ground.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen for sale in your garden center?  I will draw from the responses and the winner will receive the eminently practical Eleanor Perenyi’s Green Thoughts—a brand new edition from Modern Library. Contest ends tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern.

Comments

[John Walker]

Hello Elizabeth

We have a similar and growing problem here in the UK. The term 'garden centre' is becoming something of a misnomer as it's increasingly hard to see what these supermarkets of tat have to do with real gardening.

But they make loads of money, of course, and the UK gardening industry carries lots of clout, so few folk question the status quo, especially our supine gardening media.

Perhaps the weirdest thing you can find in a UK garden centre is well grown plants...

[Queenie]

I have a local nursery that has an extensive indoor shop that sells crafty decor items, so my daughter was able to do her Mother's day shop in one place - new heavy duty gardening gloves, wellies and ear-rings!! Yes, they even sell jewellry!! The plants are pretty good too!! If they had a Dunkin Donuts I'd be in heaven!!

[commonweeder]

Fortunately for me, the local and local-ish garden centers stick pretty much to business. No earrings! They do sell those plush singing birds, and little animal figures to go with the miniature John Deere collection for the young set. The local Agway has garden supplies and livestock supplies from birds to chickens to horses. My favorite Shelburne Farm and Garden is similar. Maybe my advantage is in living in such a rural area. I do feel lucky not to have to plow through all the tchokes.

[Rosella]

The garden centre I frequent has a little cafe -- charming outdoor tables, umbrellas, a splendid display of their incredibly overpriced pre-planted pots. The other day, the staff of the cafe were busy preparing salads with warm goatcheese and artisanal breads(whatever they are). I didn't dare ask the price -- I guess if you have to ask, you can't afford it.

[Jen]

All of the garden centers here have large gifts shops, one which is equal in size to their flower area.

Annoyingly their selection of plants is less diverse then their selection of gift junk.

[Holly]

oh I hate that things get moved all the time. I mutter under my breath (sometimes not under), as I try to find the things I get on a regular basis. I mean really, how many gazing balls does one garden center need to carry?????

[emily]

Fortunately I have a really nice garden center nearby that has a great selection of native plants. They usually have what I want.

But this rant reminds me of stationery stores. I remember when they carried more than a few boxes of stationery in the back corner of a store filled with candles, cards and doo-dads.

[Judy Lowe/Diggin'It]

Changing a garden center around is a pain for customers, but it's a disaster when they do it at the supermarket. All of a sudden, you haven't a clue where anything is. You rushed in to pick up two things and it takes a half hour. Aargh!

I find that I don't take nurseries very seriously if they sell lots of schlock. (Doesn't seem like the right place for me.)

[Katxena]

The weirdest thing I've ever seen in my garden center is a very small selection of textured wallpaper (the kind that you paint over), wallpaper paste, and paste brushes. Who needs to wallpaper their garden?

[susan harris]

Great post, E!
And I want Rosella's garden center cafe with the artisanal bread and goatcheese.

[Pat]

Lifesize Santas and rattan raindeer, Easter eggs as big as bowling balls and tux-suited rabbits, American flags and yards of spangled bunting, foam Jack-o-lanterns --- my local "garden" stores never miss a holiday.

[Cindi M]

The garden center in my old home town sells expensive painted furniture in colors and patterns that defy description. You have to crawl through this mish-mash of clashing junk to get to the cafe. They just tore down their greenhouses to expand the store. Not sure I want to know what they intend to sell next season.

[mary]

Well, I work at a garden center and we sell wine. They're going to start doing wine tastings, apparently.

I'm all for it. My garden always looks much better after a few glasses of wine.

[Deirdre]

I do the buying for the gift shop at a botanical garden. I can't compete with the big boxes for tools. I try to find more unusual things. I suppose the strangest thing we sell is baby clothes (with a garden theme of course).
We don't move whole departments, but we do move items around if they're not selling. People see them in a new light in a new location. Most stores rearrange so that you have to look at everything instead of just going straight to the usual places and leaving. The more you look, the more you impulse buy.

[RockyCat]

My local Agway was selling copper salamander wall hangings. I'm ashamed to admit I bought two.

[LauraBee]

What I *don't* find :
a stiff wire brush to help me care for my tools;
a file for sharpening said tools;
a new handle to replace the one that just broke on my otherwise perfectly good fork;
information on whether a plant has a real chance in my ridiculously clay soil;
assistance;

What I do find :
tabletop fountains;
lovely plants without price tags;
whirligigs & what-nots ;
$25,000 rugs that you'd never dream of putting near dirt;
purses made of seatbelt material.

[Kerry]

My local garden center has probably twenty Christmas trees in the gift store at Christmastime with every kind of decoration imaginable. They do Easter, Halloween, every possible holiday with all the chotchkis (sp?) you could ever think of and then some; all priced to practically take your breath away.

They don't sell tools, gloves, perlite, or vermiculite, or things you might actually need - just way overpriced plants, most of them missing their prices. The stakes are hidden in some back employee area and you wouldn't even know they stocked them if you didn't ask.

It's slim pickings in my area.

[Chris Murray]

As the manager of an independent garden center I can attest to the effect that moving merchandise has on sales. We have a high percentage of repeat customers who shop at least two to three times a month in our store, and you would be amazed at how many times someone will notice a plant that we just moved and say 'Oh, you must have just gotten that in.'

[chuck b.]

This post makes me appreciate my local garden center even more.

I was going to complain that they sells cheap, easily broken hand tools (e.g., trowels, cultivators, etc) when they could just as well sell quality, sturdy tools... But since they sell no tacky resin fairies or stuffed animals (my hardware store does), and since the bamboo stakes et cetera are all in plain view, I have no complaints whatsoever.

[Kat]

Perfume. They sell perfume at the local nursery. I guess you could put it on, get stung by a bee, then hire out the rest of your job? I really don't know...

[Scott]

The huge independently owned greenhouse that is supposed to not carry this kind of stuff is the only garden center in my area that does carry it. I was looking for foxfarm products, and mingled right in the mix were an array of scented candles. None of which were plant related scents. There were also plenty of stuffed animals, garden fairies, and music cd's. I guess the goal is that after I'm done weeding my garden, I will come inside and snuggle with a stuffed animal, light a cinnamon bun or "fresh" scent candle, and listen to some Kenny G. One of the more ironic items, carried at the same store, are fake plastic plants.

[Elizabeth Stump]

One local nursery was selling hand painted silk scarves. What does women's accessories have to do with gardening? Gee, maybe I can use that overpriced piece of silk to mop the sweat and dirt from my brow! Another thing this nursery sold was tea pots.

The only reason I still call this place a nursery is that they have quite a nice extensive selection of plants.

And why is it that I can't find proper large wooden plant markers anymore??? I finally got fed up and started going to the local big-chain arts & crafts store and bought 300 jumbo popsicle sticks for what a dozen regular size wooden plant markers cost me. I tell you, good supplies are hard to come by these days, except through specialty garden supply catalogs.

[PlantingOaks]

hmm, I suppose the little shiny squares of plastic that you could melt into a brooch shaped like a lady wearing an incredibly ugly hat do not count because 1) it was the 80s, and 2) the store was named 'nursery AND CRAFTS'. But they did fascinate me as a child.

So, I have to go to item no2: I'm fairly certain that a number of the nurseries near me sell lamps. Not all weather ones, but decorative table lamps with shades for in your bedroom. Honestly, I'm not 100% sure they are for sale, they may be set dressings like the sofas (I dearly hope that they do not sell upholstered indoor sofas, but that may be wrong too), but most of the nurserys have these little 'lifestyle sections' set up like quaint cottage living rooms with all sorts of indoor decor for sale.

I don't venture in.

[JR]

A nearby nursery/garden center recently remodeled and added a wedding reception area. I wonder if this is just a local Utah thing or perhaps a more widespread trend. It is a little odd to see their street sign advertising petunias along with the Smith-Jones reception. So far no open bar but one can hope.

[owlfarmer]

I happened upon your blog when I was looking for images of Frederic Church's Olana (for a lecture on American Romantic architecture). I can't tell you how tickled I am to have found your pages, especially after reading your manifesto. I hope it's okay if I link you folks somewhere on my Cabinet of Wonders blog--if I can get out of my own cranky garden long enough to add it!