I know–you’re a woman, and you have needs. It’s not your fault that you’re planted in alley and can’t go catting around to the bars in search of a one-night stand. You’re stuck back there behind the chicken coop, and there’s not a man for miles around, as you’ve so brutally pointed out by refusing to produce berries, which is after all the whole POINT of a winterberry. Even your name, ‘Afterglow,’ suggests that you’re–well, how shall we put it?–up for a little action.
But I will not have that boyfriend of yours hanging around my back yard. As White Flower Farm points out, this non-berry-producing ‘Jim Dandy’ fellow is best tucked "in an out-of-the-way corner," as if I have room for shamefaced lurkers in my garden. And I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but his heart will never belong to you. Amos Pettingill told me so himself. " ‘Jim Dandy’ blooms early and serves as a male pollinator for several female varieties of Winterberry, including ‘Afterglow’ and ‘Red Sprite’."
See that? The last thing I want is a whole gaggle of ‘Red Sprites’ hanging around the alley trying to get Jim’s attention. My life is complicated enough as it is. No, dear, you’re just going to have to find a way to be productive–shall we say "fruitful"?–without a man. Come on, we fought a feminist revolution over this. Don’t let a little biology hold you back. It’s time for the sisters to start doing it for themselves!