The Worst Plant Tag
Ever: Questions for the author of the tag for a plant named “Green Plant”
you have at least tried to come up with a name?
you have shouted to a co-worker, “Hey, what kind of plant is this anyway?”
the answer “A green one”?
don’t any of the numerous plants in the picture look like my Green Plant?
of the plants in the photo are actually green and white. Would they be
considered Green Plants, too?
- If you
couldn’t even bother to provide a name, how much can I trust your
recommendation of “moderate light”?
“moderate light” just hedging your bet, since you don’t know what plant
this is and couldn’t possibly know what it needs for light?
the information provided under “How to Care for your Green Plant” true for
90% of indoor plants?
the “key tips for success” merely a restatement of the hopelessly general
instructions that come first?
you also want to include the following instructions: Plant in dark soil in
a pot with the opening facing up. Do not bleach. Do not place in freezer.
Water should be wet before applying to Green Plant.
you have a meeting to brainstorm other ways this tag could be less
- Do you
think people should get an “A” for effort?
- If so,
what grade would you give yourself for this tag?
this a conspiracy?
- Do you
think you can get away with this?
do you mean “I already have.”?
- Why do
you hate me?