What’s a “Relentlessly Gay” yard?


gayTo a self-described Christian in the Baltimore area, it’s having colorful candles. Rainbow-colored candles. They’re what moved a “Concerned Home Owner” to complain in this note to the offending neighbor.

Homeowner Julie Baker is responding by going even MORE relentless and to raise money to do that, she started a page on GoFundMe. Her pitch includes this:

Put simply, I am a widow and the mother of four children, my youngest in high school and I WILL NOT Relent to Hatred. Instead, I will battle it with whimsy and beauty and laughter and love, wrapped around my home, yard and family!!!

Her drive is doing very well.

The offending lights.

The story is now on the Baltimore Sun site, BoingBoing, and surely others to come. It’s going viral because we love the feelings of derision and outrage that are evoked by crazy shit like this.

When I stopped snickering I starting wondering if MY yard would qualify.  I do have prayer flags – decidedly nonChristian ones – but their colors are clearly too pastel. Wonder where I can get some in a rainbow of primary colors.

Then my second thought is: the gardens of my gay friends and acquaintances are among the BEST I’ve ever seen. So call my yard gay any time. Thank you.

(Photo via Reddit user jill853)


  1. I do think this is funny that someone would get upset about her lights. But I find it very sad when I went to the GoFundMe page and she’s raised almost $22,000 asking for $5,000.
    There are many people in desperate need of money like Ginny’s Journey’s mom who lost her job to take care of her teenage daughter Ginny who has cancer. https://www.facebook.com/Cancerofthebrain?fref=ts
    They have had a go fund me up for four months and have only raised $1,970 of $10,000.
    There’s a lot stories out there like hers that could so use help.

  2. I’m sorry, but the indiscriminate and incorrect use of capital letters in the complainant’s note devalued its content (lacking as it was prior to said devaluation. ) Excuse me now while I add more primary colors to my garden.

  3. I agree with Mary. I suspect this is a hoax. The sad thing is that this type of ‘joke’ only creates more animosity and divisions among people. Remy makes a very good point, too. Every dollar that is given to this type of nonsense leaves one less dollar for those that really need help.

  4. Oh dear. You guys have me thinking it’s a hoax, too (the police bit wasn’t really believable.) And they’re making money from it.
    So let’s hope there’s some local media who’ll check it out.

  5. Holy buckets was this funny, thank you so much for sharing! I think I’d be pretty happy to have my yard called “relentlessly gay”, it would mean I must be doing something right.

    Is it inappropriate to suggest to the home owner that she use some of the money to grown some human figured topiaries? My mind just had a lot of fun with the various scenarios of that and how offensive it would be to the good folks of the world.

    • My gardener in Santa Cruz was relentlessly gay, pagan, artistic, and environmentalist.

      Wish he’d travel over the hill to Silly Vally, but…

  6. The lack of spelling errors does suggest a hoax. The rabid right tends to be fairly creative with the rules of the language. Seems to me to be a call to be regaled with many, many tales of the gender bending lives of plants. Interested in a little apomixis anyone? Call 1-800-XYXY.

    • Here’s what else suggests a hoax: the fact that the note-writer seems unaware that rainbows have been a Christian symbol for thousands of years. Really hard to believe so many people fell for this!

      • The fact that rainbows are a Biblical symbol does not in any way suggest a hoax. Far too many Christians have no idea what the Bible actually says.

        For those who wonder, the rainbow is from the story of Noah, and represents a hopeful promise from the deity.

  7. This is lol funny. Although I would have changed the string length on each of the jars so it formed a kinda’ rainbow, for more dramatic effect ;- P

    • No one is claiming the house doesnt exist, or the woman in the story. What people are pointing out, however, is that the “mean” note and this woman’s GoFundMe page share an unusual typing pattern (namely, the capitalizing of the first letter of any word they wish to emphasize), and that the odds of both the woman and her unknown neighbor just -happening- to share that habit are pretty slim.

  8. Many LGBTIQA+ *are* Christian. Many children may have figured out that there’s something different about the way they feel.

    Cluebat needed.

    As to the capitalization oddities–at least she’s not as addicted to them, and to emphasis peculiarities, as Miss Climpson was.

  9. And I looked at the picture and thought oh one of those gardens that is over the top with cutesy-poo stuff in an attempt to be cherry, merry, cloyingly happy looking. Old definition of the word.

  10. Typically American. Thomas Jefferson wrote all kinds of ‘stuff’ about John Adams.

    News cycles thrive at the initial punch. Who cares if it’s true or not?

    Gay men put Atlanta, GA gardening on the map in the early 80’s. Lucky me to be part of their wave. I bless the gay influence. Without it I doubt I would have my career.

    Of course I must include Jim Gibbs creating wild good landscapes at Post Properties too.

    Note seems untrue, a neo-munchausen event.

    Garden & Be Well, XO Tara

    • In Unnatural Death (1927; also known as The Dawson Pedigree), Dorothy Sayers introduces an ancillary sleuth, Miss Climpson.

      Alexandra Katherine Climpson, a spinster who has lived most of her life in boardinghouses, is a feisty lady with a large measure of common sense and an adventurous spirit. Over the course of Sayers’s novels, Climpson becomes the head of an unusual detective agency that masquerades as a typing bureau and is staffed only by women. In other novels that follow, Lord Peter Wimsey often uses operatives from Climpson’s agency to help him solve crimes. Unnatural Death revolves around women, one of whom has the distinction of being one of Sayers’s most vicious and amoral criminals.

      https://www.tumblr.com/search/the+intrepid+miss+climpson has an example of one of her letters to Lord Peter.

  11. If it is fake, and she’s outed as a con-woman, at least all the people she ripped off know where she lives (that is, if she gave out that info). If it is real, that note seems like evidence of a hate crime.

    • Oops, I see she put her address on the note :P. And I have another thought: what if we call this performance art, ala Banksy? Would that justify the con?

  12. Am working HARD on making my small yard “relentlessly gay”. What a concept. I thought that was the whole point! What’s a humming bird to do with a drab,gray, boring yard—is there such a thing?! LOVE that term—isn’t there an ad slogan there somewhere? Perhaps next year. 2016 Spring Trials. . .new ————(filling the blank) ‘Relentlessly Gay’. It would sell like hot cakes! No doubt patented, restricted etc.etc.

  13. Well, true or not, this kind of thing happens for real all the time… I had a client once who was berated by an anonymous neighbor for her beautiful cottage garden. The note said that it was in poor taste not to have well-manicured lawn and appropriately clipped shrubs.
    We blew the letter up to poster size and posted it on the street with an invitation to a garden party the following weekend and the entire neighborhood – sans one – turned out!

  14. My first reaction when I saw this on FB was – let me know how I can make my yard ‘relentlessly gay’ to show support.

    My second reaction was just sadness. Intolerance like this makes people suffer. I wish strength to this woman having to endure neighbors like this.

  15. Holy cow. That “concerned homeowner” needs a lesson in what it means to be truly Christian. …and they also need to get a hobby.

    Thanks for posting this, Susan. It is simultaneously sad, hilarious, despicable, horrifying, ridiculous, and crazycakes.


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